...makes it all better. I have had kinda a rough week and the milkshake Randi and I got last night after an amazing episode of Lost made me feel better. Why is that? Is it a girl thing? I really don't know and don't care as long as it works!

I am usually a very positive, cheerful, stress-free person so it is hard for me when so many things get to me that I cannot be like that or I have to fake it. I hate faking it! Tuesday of this week I put in my two month notice at my job (contract required 2 months) and this was not easy. It has been a good job, especially for my first "real job", and they have been so good too me with my surgery and stuff. So I felt pretty guilty for leaving them but I also know that sometimes I have to take care of myself. I am trying to be faithful to God and step out blindly to make myself more available for him to use me in ministry. But just because I know it is what God wants me to do, does not make it easier. The unknown is scary.

I tried to quit on Monday but my boss left early, so that left me with another night to not sleep well as I worried about the next day. I let her know on Tuesday and all I could do was hand her my resignation letter, sit down, and cry a little. She said she was surprised but understood and was glad I was following my heart and pursuing what I really wanted to do with my life. Wow! I did not expect her to be so understanding. But to add to the mess I had a hard time that day getting into the physical therapy schedule which I still really need and this made me cry too. That night I went to bible study, burned the dinner, broke the Bible box, and did not get the cookies I was hoping for. None of it was too big of a deal, but all piled on top of this job stuff it was not a good day.

Wednesday I was hoping would be a better day, but it was kinda stressful at work telling everyone else that I was leaving, and having my boss tell me I pretty much messed up her summer vacation by choosing the date I did for leaving. Great! After work I had physical therapy and they chose this day to start pushing me harder and I seriously had to hold back my tears to keep from crying in front of everyone when I could not do something. Luckily my sweet therapist squeezed me into the schedule where the other girl could not. They are so great! After PT I drove to Sonic to get a little dinner, thinking I had plenty of time before church started. They took FOREVER to get my food out and then they had it wrong and I think I paid more than I should have but I was in such a hurry that I just had to leave. I really was looking forward to my large Dr. Pepper! On the way to the house for church I took the wrong road and went way out of the way and by the time I got there I was so upset I could hardly keep from crying as we sang.

Now I don't mind being honest with the teens about what is going on with me and I don't want them to think my life is always happy, but life groups was not the place to let all of that spill out. I went to the bathroom to calm myself down and came back and just closed my eyes and prayed for peace because I knew this was not the time or place for the kids to be asking what was wrong. The next thing Rob said was, "whenever you think you are having a bad day just read Job, now that was a bad day!" He continued to tell the story of Job (awesome story) and God calmed me down. Life groups went great and I got out in time to get home to watch Lost with Randi .

But when I walked into the house I saw that my roommates watching a movie. I did not want to disturb them so knowing Randi was only moments away I went to the bathroom and called her and told her we could not watch. So I met her outside to go get ice cream instead. She could tell I was really upset but I guess my roommates could too. Tamera called me and said "were you and Randi going to watch Lost?" I told her yes and she insisted that we come back. I guess I should have just asked but I was not in the mood and I think they could tell. They are the best. I know it sounds silly but it was just one more thing gone wrong in my day that on any other week would not have been that big of a deal.

So Randi and I watched Lost and as usual it was AMAZING!!! We just sat there with our mouths open as we watched the ending and could not believe it! So good! Afterwards I knew I would not be falling asleep any time soon so we went and got milkshakes from McDonald's and chatted cheerfully about Lost and other things. So seriously, Lost and ice cream made everything better.

Again, I am sure that these things sound way too dumb to get upset about and I know that in the big picture everything will be OK, but this has been a hard week. I keep telling myself not to be an Israelite and trust God and remember how faithful he has been to me in the past. So I am walking blindly into all of this but I know that God will provide. I mean he takes care of the grass and the birds, why would he not take care of me right?