I said in my last blog I would let you know how the driving thing went. Well it was long and boring and lonely but I got to drive a couple of cool people and got paid so I am very thankful. Not much interesting to share there.
This morning was a different morning for me. My roommate had their mentoring group over at 7:30am so I needed to not be here. So after getting ready I headed to the local coffee shop with my other roomie. We had fun not doing what we were supposed to be doing and enjoying some ok coffee.
After that I headed to my appointment with my tailor. What am I doing going to a tailor? Well I am in a wedding in DC in January and I needed my dress altered. So I headed to her house and it was quick and painless. So quick that I had some time to kill before I could go back home.
I was near my favorite park so I decided to stop there for a bit and enjoy the cool morning. I sat down by the lake and had some time of stillness and quiet. The sun was rising and the ducks were quacking and it was beautiful. The breeze was blowing on my face and I felt peace. I felt like I could have stayed there all day. Unfortunately I had coffee that morning and really needed to potty so my time was cut short. Leave it to my tiny bladder to ruin the moment.
Why am I sharing this? Well my quiet time with God sucks, and is almost non-existent. I pray throughout the day but rarely do I sit down intentionally and spend time with God in quiet, prayer or study. I hate this about my life. I KNOW that I need this time and that God desires it for me also but for some reason I have this block that keeps me from it. I have been working against this block for probably a year now and nothing has worked. I see my roommates having their quiet time and it makes me wonder what is wrong with me.
Well now I have a new thing to try that I do not know why it has not occurred to me before. Nature! I find God in nature so easily. I see him every day in the trees, in the wind, in the cool night air, in the stars I see as I ride my bike home at night. Everywhere! So as I sat outside this morning quite time came so easily to me. Not that it is not possible to have quiet time inside and maybe that will come with time, but it just makes sense to me to spend time with God outside instead of stuck inside where I am all the time anyways.
I should have known this about myself especially after living in Colorado. My dry spell runs all the way back into my time in CO but I remember very specific times where I was out hiking or sitting my the river that I felt the most comfortable being quiet with God. Just because I am in ugly Abilene does not mean I cannot do the same thing. There is beauty and nature here, its just a bit different.
So my new plan of action is to start out with a goal of going to be outside with God once a week. Running does not count. I need to go somewhere that I can be away from people and technology and business and just be in nature where I find God the easiest. Maybe from this I will feel a desire to spend more time and I can move it to a daily routine (man I hate that word) but we will see. Baby steps Dee!
Typically I try to stay away from sharing too much personal, emotional or spiritual info on here because that is private. I would LOVE to talk to anyone about this stuff in person but not on a blog. But today I felt the need to share my experience so sorry if it was too much.
Deanna,
Glad you shared. I'm proud of you for seeking God in this way. It is inspiring for me. There really is something about being outside in His creation that helps us connect. Keep seeking.
Wes