I have been in Spanish class for a couple of weeks now and today was the first day I have cried because of it. No I did not cry in class but while studying for class. I am actually quite proud that it has taken this long. In my long history with learning Spanish many tears have fallen out of frustration and lack of understanding and today was no different.

I cannot even explain to you what I was learning because I hardly understand it myself but it all comes back to my fear and hatred for grammar...of any kind...of any language. I had a seriously rough time learning grammar all throughout school and I still cannot tell you much more than what nouns and verbs are. When you get into direct objects and reflexive stuff you totally loose me and if I am trying to teach myself Spanish grammar when I do not even understand the English grammar, that puts me in a tight spot.

I found myself in that place this morning, sitting at my kitchen table trying to study for class. I was totally confused and having flashbacks to 7th grade English class, being called upon to name the parts of the sentence and not having a clue. I know it sounds silly and I am being a bit dramatic, but I really have never understood grammar and usually I get by fine until I try to learn the grammar of a language that is not my own. This = frustrating times.

Yet, I did not shut my book or walk away, I pressed on and somewhat began to understand what the book was trying to teach. Then I went to class and I understood a little bit more. I do much better with a teacher and examples of sentences instead of reading a book that is trying to explain indirect objects and where they go. I need things to roll off my tongue and feel where they fit instead of explaining where they fit.

Today was just another day of crying over Spanish and I can guarantee that it will not be the last but I can also guarantee that I will keep trying and have some fun doing it too. Boo ya grammar! You have been triumphed over again!!! :)

Hasta! (That's short for hasta luego or see you later)