Women In Ministry

I have had a frustrating week of ministry and I still don't know what to do about it. I feel like God is teaching me how to be a Godly woman in ministry but I have not gotten it yet. I know everything has been great preparation for how it will be in Chile, but that does not make it fun.

As most of you know, I am a part time campus minister on a team with two others. A married guy (older than me) and a married girl (younger than me). We work great together and are good at protecting each other from mistakes. Within the last 3 days I have had two students in our ministry show interest in me that was more than friendship. I seriously was shocked and was caught off guard and probably did not respond in the best way. I have experienced this problem before when working with Muslim students but for some reason this feels different.

The first dude is an "interesting" guy and no one I would ever be interested in, even if it were ok. He also has girl/guy problems because he is "interesting." From what I have heard and experienced he hates girls because they never show him attention, but he still likes girls because he is a guy. So here comes this nice, Christian girl (me) who takes him to church and tells him she hopes he comes to activities and he gets the wrong idea. I did not see it coming but the other day after I talked to him he awkwardly asked me if he could have a hug. Not knowing what to do I gave him one, frontal. Now I love hugs and most are fine, but in these situations I really need to practice my side hug. Art (guy partner), saw it all and we got to talk about it some. No more of me taking this guy to church. But I do not know where the balance is because I do not want to be another girl who makes him hates girls, but I cannot keep doing what I am doing.

The second incident was last night at a service project. This other student who does not come to stuff much did come so I was really excited. We were walking up some stairs and very coolly he asked if I wanted to go to the ballet in a few weeks. Totally shocked I did not look at him and told him I had a super busy and strange schedule so I would have to check and get back to him. First, I do not like the ballet so I would not want to go anyways, but pretty sure going on a date with one of the students is a little inappropriate! No one else heard what went on until he brought it up again in front of others and Art asked what we were talking about he this guy said we were going to the ballet together. Ahh! Luckily I explained to Art later that this would not happen I just did not know what to do. Part of Art thinks this is so funny but I make sure he knows I do not.

Now I have never considered myself a flirt or the one all the guys want. I do not date much, which is not exactly because I don't want to. Just never happens. So I am totally thrown off when someone thinks that I am giving them the impression that I like them. In my mind I am their minister who is nice to them because they are weird and no one else is nice to them. I try to be Jesus to them so they can come to know Jesus. In their mind I am this older girl who is into them! How does this happen? How does Jesus' love get skewed into romantic love and how do I keep that from happening?

Do I need to only do ministry with women? But that cuts my outreach by 50%!!!! I do not want to give up ministry to guys but I guess I am not doing a good job of handling it. That makes me sad because I did not know I was doing a bad job. I don't know what to do. But I know I do not want to become a creepy minister that pursue relationships with their students because I have known too many ministers to fall into that trap and it is so sad. Do I need to get married? Will that help? I hope to get married some day but I do not want this to be the reason.

Anyone else had this problem?

Least Favs

In a previous blog I listed some of my favorite things. So here is a list of some of my least favorite things. If you do some of them I forgive you. I do some of them too.

1. Opening CD's
2. Wasting food
3. Stereotypes
4. Smelling bad
5. Hate
6. Picky eaters
7. Rustling paper/plastic during a movie
8. Slow talkers
9. Closed mindedness
10. Spiders
11. Scary movies
12. Politics
13. Most "classic" literature
14. Only drinking bottled water
15. Materialism
16. Studying
17. Hunting and guns
18. Global warming
19. Arguing
20. Back seat drivers
21. Lying
22. Driving on ice
23. Fire drills
24. Un-Adventurism
25. Hummers
26. Water park bathrooms
27. Salt water
28. Cars that don't signal
29. Vacuuming
30. The GRE
31. Super abstract art that I could do myself
32. Hurricanes
33. When the house smells after cooking
34. Degrading rap music
35. Too much PDA
36. Songs that repeat the same words over and over
37. Daily credit card apps in the mail

I keep thinking of new ones so feel free to add to the list if you have any!

My Newest Discovery

I am not a huge TV watcher but I do have my favorites. Nothing will ever top Friends or Seinfeld but I have found a few good ones since then. I have been a fan of Gilmore Girls but that ended so most currently I watch Scrubs, Lost and The Office. I cannot wait until the new season of The Office comes out but sadly Lost will not begin again until January or February.

The new TV season is beginning soon so I decided I needed something to last me until Lost begins. I checked the major TV stations to see what their new shows are and nothing really caught my eye. Carpool looks like it could be funny Samantha Who might be ok but neither look great or original. So I decided maybe it was time to catch up on some older shows that I did not watch from the beginning so was always too behind to know what was going on.

I went to Blockbuster in hopes to begin renting Alias since I have heard awesome things and Jennifer Garner is like amazing. Sadly they only started with season 2, don't ask me why, so I looked around some more. That is when I decided to start on the journey with Jack Bauer and 24. I know I am way behind the times and it has been going for like 6 years or something but I have started it and am hooked. I am half way through the first season and I cannot wait to get the next disk so I can see what happens to Bauer and his family. I always laughed when people said they would vote for Jack Bauer for prez or that he was their hero but now I know why. If ever I am in danger I know who to call!

Weekend Away

This weekend was the RMCM fall retreat and we went to a cabin in Leadville, Co deep in the Rockies. It was an awesome weekend and we did not want to come back.

The weekend did not start out as great as it ended though. I had already been battling a cold for two days and I sounded worse than ever before. I debated staying behind but I cant really say no so I went along promising to get sleep and take it easy. We made the drive up there and I gave my lesson for the night and crashed while everyone else stayed up playing games. I slept amazing which was nice. Probably helped that I took two NyQuil and two IB Prophine that totally knocked me out for the night.

Saturday we woke up and had amazing pancakes for lunch and then had another teaching time led by Bri. Out weekend theme was Dying to Live and our thoughts were centered a lot around the things we have been reading in Irresistible Revolution. I spoke on "Jesus Wrecked My Life" meaning how choosing to follow Jesus does not make our lives easier but harder sometimes and we should be prepared for that and ready to sacrifice anything for him. Easier said than done of course. Bri spoke on reaching out to the poor, living below our means, and giving up things that are hard for us.

After her lesson we got ready, piled into two cars and went off roading in the mountains. The guy whose parents own the cabin was with us and he led the was in his huge truck! We had some fun with the walkie talkies and then found an awesome place to relax, hike, throw rocks and play around that was super secluded. It was kinda chilly but a beautiful day. The leaves are starting to change and we had an awesome view of the mountains.

When we got home we crashed for a bit, had some good down time and then I made a delicious dinner of black beans and rice and sausage. Mmmm good! After dinner Art gave his talk on how it looks to live out the Gospel in every day jobs and whether we need to sell everything and follow Christ.

The night continued with the longest, funnest game of pool ever, intense games of spoons and a movie until we fell asleep. Today we woke up late but still had time to stop off at the cuttest little coffee shop in Leadville before hitting the road. We had an uneventful drive back with amazing views and we were just glad it was not blizzarding like last time. The weekend was fun, encouraging, thought provoking and just and awesome time. Here are a few pics of our small but super cool group!

Hiking fools!

Grrr! We are so strong!

Group pic!

Goofy RMCM staff with perfect names. Art, Bri and Dee!!

Whew!

I'm done with the GRE! Hooray!!! I took it at noon today and never again will I have to study for that stupid test. All I want to do now is lay in the bed until tomorrow but sadly I cannot do that. The busy life of a barista/minister continues on!

Yesterday I woke up (at 4am to open) with a sore throat and a stuff nose. Colds seriously have the worst timing! So I got up and went to work and survived it. When I got home I took too short of a nap and finished my last bit of studying. Then last night we had our laundry night with campus ministry and it went pretty good. I ordered pizza and lots of snacks and toys to play with and more quarters than you have ever seen! Slowly the students started to come in. At first I thought only 4 or 5 would show up but as the night went on more and more came. It was different than last time but served its purpose. The students were friendly and curious why we were paying for their laundry which gave me a great opportunity to tell them about our ministry and invite them back. Who knows if they will come but the purpose of the night was to serve students and get our name out there and it was done. Thanks God!

This morning I slept in and felt a little better than the day before. I took my time getting ready, had a hardy breakfast of cheese eggs and biscuits and headed downtown to take my test. I got there 30 min. early like suggested and after filling out the form I sat around for 30 min. and waited thinking about how unprepared I was. Ahhh! Then the dreaded time came. Only for a few seconds did I get butterflies but really I was just ready to get it over with. So I started the test and 3 hours, two essays, two math sections and one verbal section later I was done! They report your scores to you immediately but this does not include the essays or what percentile your scores fall under. I would rather not report my scores but I will say that I am fine with them and I did not bomb the test. I am just glad its over!!!!! Now I can start finishing up the rest of my grad application stuff and just pray that they know I am smarter than my GRE scores! Thanks to everyone for being so encouraging and having faith in me. I appreciate it so much.

To treat myself I stopped and got some lunch/dinner and a big Dr. Pepper! I got home and have been laying around for the past 2 hours watching TV and just chilling. Now it is back to work! At least this is a little more fun than GRE studying. This weekend is our campus ministry retreat and I am teaching tomorrow (Friday) night to open. So I need to be prepared. So off I go to work on my lesson!!!!

This Is A Gloomy One

I don't like being unhappy and I don't like writing gloomy blogs. Funny ones are much more entertaining to read. But right now I am feeling sad and gloomy and I need to write it out.

I said a few blogs back that my grandpa is sick and not doing good. He had surgery and has recovered fine from that but he wont eat and he wont get up. He is not right in his mind and can only think about what he wants right now. They moved him to a nursing home yesterday and he spent his first night alone in years. That makes me so sad. During the night he got out of bed to go to the bathroom and ripped out his catheter. Ouch! None of us really know how long this could go on but if he is not going to get better I hope it is not long.

We have talked about it and he is like 84 years old, has led a really good life with lots of fun and love and hardly any health problems. If it is time for him to die then it is ok, but it is just sad for the rest of us here. I know God can heal him, but I don't know if he will.

The hardest part about all of this for me is that I wish I could be with my mom as she is dealing with all of this. She is so sad and worried and doesn't know what to do. For the past few weeks she has been staying up all night with him to make sure he doesn't do anything he shouldn't. Then she sits all day with nothing to do but watch him more. She isn't hungry and cant eat around him anyways.

I just want to be able to sit with her and my grandma and listen to them and hug them when they cry and help out. I want to bring them food and let them go home and rest and me sit there with him. I want to sit with my mom in our blue chair and talk about what she should do. But I cant because I am so far away. All I can do from here is think and pray and talk to my mom on the phone. I want to go home.

Please pray for my family.

Are You Ready For Some Football!!!

It's that time of year again. The air is getting cooler, school is starting up, and NFL football season has kicked off. Hooray! Last night was the first NFL game of the seasons and it was a great one. My friend Jess came over and we watched the Colts vs. Saints and it was so nice. We had queso and laid on the floor and cheered on the very successful Colts.

I love football season. It bring such great memories from high school and watching games with my family. I still remember the first time I watched an entire football game with my brother, dad and grandpa and my grandparents house. I was so proud I sat through the whole thing and have been hooked ever since. I think part of it is because it is something that I can be into that my brother is way into also. It has become a family thing and we get to go to Houston Texans games every year together. Even though the Texans aren't great it is just super fun to go together.

I also love football season because of Sundays. It is so relaxing to come home from church on Sunday and lay on the floor and watch games, or even just have them on in the background as I do other things. I used to do all of my weekend study times during college on Sunday afternoons watching football. Ahhhh! It is also so much fun to hang out after church with friends and watch the games together. Here in Colorado I have had to be into the Broncos because they don't show many Texans games. But I can enjoy the Broncos. It is nice to go for a team that is good.

The Colts are probably my second favorite team and have been for a while. I think Peyton Manning is a great QB and I think Dungy is an awesome coach that I respect a lot. I was so happy they won the Superbowl this past season. And let me just say, the Manning commercials are some of my favorite on TV. Here are my three favorite!

Reggie Bush vs Peyton Manning commercial

The Mannings at ESPN Digital Center

Master Card - Peyton Manning Commercial

Home Sweet Home

I think I have set a record. I have lived in the same house for an entire year. This is the first time that has happened since I began college. When I started school at ACU I went from dorm, to home, to dorm, to Uruguay, to home, to apartment, to Argentina, to house, to family in Colorado (all in 4 years) and then to this amazing house and I have been here a year now. It seems really hard to believe. I got used to moving around a lot but it sure has been nice to not have to move.

Now it all has to change again. See we got a new roomie and her boyfriend is moving to London and she is going to move into his house. So instead of us finding another roommate and her having to find two roommate we are all just going to move into the boyfriend's house. It is even closer to work, is really nice, and is not on top of a hill. It wont have as good of a view but at least I wont have to drive the ice hill in the winter. I am glad to not have to find a new roommate but not too excited about moving, especially with only like 3 months to go till I move again. I like my house. Luckily I don't have that much stuff to move.

Now things are changing again I am not really sure what is going on but I hope it all works out ok. Pretty soon I need to start finding a place to live in Abilene. Not looking forward to that. Here are some pics of my lovely home.

Front View of 402!!

Back Porch and Side View of 402 !!

View from the porch!!

Dream Man

Friday night the little town I live in had movie night in the park and they showed Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Tons of people came out and it was so cute and so much fun. I love my town!

Anyways, after watching the movie I decided that Indiana Jones is my dream man. By this I mean the seemingly perfect man that will never be true and would not be as perfect as I think he is but it is still fun to dream. I mean come on, what girl has not wanted an Indiana Jones for herself. He is manly, smart, sexy, a hero and is always on adventure. He is fighting bad guys (always the Nazis), helping the good guys and always has time to save his awesome hat!

He always has a beautiful girl by his side (which is my dream is obviously me). Sometimes she screams a lot and hates bugs and skeletons (who doesn't) but is usually quite adventurous herself. Once in a while Indy has to come to her rescue but she can fight for herself too. They go all over the world together (plotted by a red line on a map) and get in and out of lots of trouble. It can't get much better than that.

I walked home after the movie humming the Indiana Jones theme song in my head and dreaming about my Indiana Jones. Ha! This is what watching too many movies does to you! Think Indy wants to be a missionary?