I hate spiders. I have been afraid of them my whole life and this fear became even bigger after living in Oklahoma where it was a regular occurrence to find a Brown Recluse spiders in our house. As a child I was so afraid of them I could not even step on them for fear of them jumping on me or their poison going through my shoe. This is a dumb fear I know but to this day I am so scared of getting close enough to kill them.

Lately in my house I have seen lots of spiders. I think I have seen one ever day this week and have managed to kill two of them but not without having a huge argument with myself in my head. One part of me is still so afraid to get close enough to kill them but the other part of me is afraid of what might happen if I don't. One of the spiders was in the kitchen sink so I sneaked over and sprayed it down with the spray thingy. The other was on my bedroom wall and I threw my shoe at it and actually got it.

I do not think these spiders are Black Widows because I just looked them up online and they did not look the same but even just looking at pictures of them online made me sick to my stomach and my skin is crawling like there are spiders all over me. Eeek!

So now because of all these spiders I have seen around, wherever I go in my house I look around on all the walls and floors and surfaces to see if there are any around. When I get in the shower, I scan the area. When I get into bed I look under all the sheets. When I walk into the garage I check the floor and then check the light switch before I touch it. Now I do not think I have arachnophobia because that is like super extreme, but I am getting a little paranoid and its driving me crazy! I went to Target the other day and got some bug spray so that next time I see one maybe I can spray it and then when it is down I can squish it. The bug spray has given me a little more confidence so I am ready for the next one. I just wish I was not so afraid of them and I could just walk up and kill them and keep going. Stupid spiders!